Sunday, March 17, 2013

The Precarious Balance of Facets of Life

While I'm completely drowning in the acid swamp of craziness that is my fairly easy life, my friends seem to be super-organized and on top of everything, from schoolwork to extracurriculars to conquering the world. I don't know how they do this. It's like they're super heroes or something, and I'm Super Slacker.

I just don't get how they do it. And if I can't figure out how my fellow sophomores in high school balance life, how the heck am I supposed to understand how Obama balances running the world with Michelle and Malia and Sasha and Bo? HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT?!

Because I'd rather make up fake diseases to diagnose my slacker-ness instead of working to eradicate it, I believe that I suffer from Super Slacker Syndrome, otherwise known as Alliterations' Disease.

Super Slacker Syndrome is a condition most people develop in between the ages of 0-120. The symptoms are hard to recognize at first: not doing your multiplication homework in third grade can quickly grow into promising yourself that you'll clean your fish's bowl the next day, and guess what? You'll never clean the bowl.

(Disclaimer: Despite the statement previously made, I do care for my beta, Ronald Reagan. Ron-Ron is a very happy fish, so please don't call DCF- Department of Children and Fish- on me.) (Okay. That was punny in the extreme. But not even good punny. I apologize).

The point is, Alliterations' Disease aside, how do people "do it all?" Is it even possible? A while ago I read that article by that Princeton professor-person that women actually can't balance motherhood and a career, so maybe I should just drop out of high school now.

Oh well. I'm done ranting. Maybe I should just study for my Latin quiz after all.